Friday, August 21, 2009
I wrote her many letters during our time together. All those letters have reminded me each amazing step in our collection of moments. All that writing has brought this story together for me. I have written a goodbye letter and re worded it nearly a million times. This was re written again yesterday. It's scratched up from the ltter i wrote one year ago.
This was it. I never sent it, until now. I am always intrugued knowing that it takes a minute to say hello, but forever to say goodbye. This is my goodbye letter to her.
If you are reading this then it means I actually worked up the courage to send it. So good for me. Maybe sometimes i feel that you dont know me very well, but if you get me started i have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing an the music is for me. But this...
This is the hardest thing i've ever had to write. There's no easy way to say this, so ill just say it. I met someone. It was an accident, and she is from my past. I wasn't looking for it, I wasn't on the make.
It was a perfect storm. She said one thing, i said another. Next thing i knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there's this feeling in my gut. She might be the one.
She is completely nuts in a way that makes me smile. Highly neurotic. A great deal of maintenance required.
She is you.
That's the good news. The bad is that i don't know how to be with you right now. And that scares ther shit our of me. Because if im not with you right now, i have this feeling we'll get lost out there. Its a big bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment...
...the moment that could've changed everything.
I dont know what's going on with us, and i can't tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me, but damn you feel good. You feel like home, and you poor a good beer, that's gotta count for something right?
I hope we don't become like passing ships in the night. All I ask is that if this is goodbye then don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
“Never say goodbye when you still want to try, never give up when you still feel you can't take it. Never say you don't love the person anymore when you can't let go.”